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He looked at his sitter and he found her very desirable and very beautiful, especially to-day, with that touch of languor, that air of laisser faire, as of one who lays down the oars and deliberately lets the boat drift with the current. Was it only a momentary mood? Did he dare to say more?
There was complete silence. The dark head was motionless. Claudia knew she was taking in the idea, for whenever Fay wanted to reason with herself, she always thought in silence. She always took a special interval from life to do her thinking.
No! No! cried Claudia, thinking of the humiliating scene in the studio, I dont find it easy at all. I find everything horribly difficult and confusing.... I havent even got any fixed principles now. I hardly know what I believe or disbelieve. Sometimes I think I am only an artist, a pagan, merely craving for the beautiful, the perfect; sometimes I feel there is more in life and love than that ... there must be, there must be ... the whole fabric of life could not have been built upon such an insecure foundation. Passion is a big factor in life, but there must be a bigger.
Theres no way of letting off steam nowadays, is there? continued Pat, unabashed by Lady Curreys stare, and crossing her legs so as to display a large expanse of silk-covered calf. Thats why people get into mischief. They boil up inside, sometimes you can feel the bubbles!
In my young days we didnt hear so much talk of the game, this feverish desire to work ones self into an early grave. Is it a modern failing, doctor?
As for Mrs. Hamilton being a good mother, went on Mrs. Milton, shes been one of the best. Her husband was a small solicitor and left them very badly off. It was she who screwed the money out of the housekeeping that Frank should go to Paris and study painting. Lucy, who was just as clever at music, had to teach herself. I do hope, now he is getting on, that Frank will make their lives easier.
The rest seemed somehow smothered and she could not catch the words.
Littleton nodded. I once had a bad attack of nerves. My! but I shall never forget it. I got so that I stuttered in my speech, and I used to fancy people were watching me. I couldnt sleep and had all sorts of weird fancies. I could hear the telephone-bell ringing all night, and when I did get to sleep, I used to jump up with a shout to answer it. They sent me for a long sea-voyage to Australia. I came back cured. But it was an awful time. One ought to be sympathetic with a man in that condition. Only one who has been through really understands.
[372]
Then, after giving a last touch to the table, he pulled out a bunch of keys from his pocket and unlocked a[275] corner cupboard where he kept liqueurs and wines. He never forgot to lock that cupboard, no matter how late his company left or how high his visions had soared, for he had a great mistrust of servants. His usual manner was half dreamy, rather abstracted, as though the sordid details of everyday life passed him by, but the impression that he gave was misleading. Often his mind was most practical when his eyes seemed only to hold vague dreams and beautiful, unworldly ideals, and if anyone thought to drive an easy bargain at such a time he found himself mistaken. As a child at school Frank had always managed to elude just punishment by that same manner of aloofness from desks and copybooks, and from quite early manhood women had taught him to realize how that air, combined with obvious good looks and the reputation for temperament, could be made valuable. The way in which his eyes would light up with sudden enthusiasm, the frank expressions of admiration which came easily to his lips, the appeal which he made by a seemingly exclusive devotion to the woman of the moment, had always made him a favourite with the fair sex, who contrasted him with the more phlegmatic males of their acquaintance to his great advantage, for its the high-falutin stuff the women bite on.
Dont you know I should come? he whispered, not noticing her.